I wanna take you to a gay bar.

"Are you coming along, too?"
"Um. Well..." I'm secretly horrified by the idea. "Absolutely. Of course."
"You're not wearing that, are you?"
"No. I have pants somewhere that I can wear."
"You look like you're ready for a basketball game."
"That's hilarious on a few different levels."




Clay, who I've only just met, has been ripping on me for the duration. He looks like Ron Perlman's character from Sons of Anarchy and he even rides a bike. He isn't actually wearing his leather biker get-up, but he might as well be. I can still see it on him. I'm somewhat intimidated by him and curious about his constant attention to me. But I am the new guy, afterall. I'm fresh meat. Maybe that's all it is. Maybe not. I probably don't want to know. I finish my beer instead and Clay just smirks at me. He's one of the four other guys crammed with me inside Woody's office. His roommate Ronnie came with him.



Ronnie looks like a stocky Jake Gyllenhaal with a full beard. He has truly amazing eyes and would be the hottest man I've ever met if he wasn't such a hot mess. If he ever gets his shit together - well, even if he doesn't... Who am I kidding? The man is gorgeous. But, like I said, he's a hot damn mess. Also, Ronnie has been waiting to hear back from this guy he was supposed to meet tonight for drinks. Clay drug him along to get him drunk and hopefully make him less of a moody little bitch. I met both of them through Woody.



Woody (who looks like Woody Harrelson but thinner and with a goatee) is a character and he knows absolutely everyone - and absolutely everyone knows him. By association with him, I'm getting to know absolutely everyone as well. If I'm ever anywhere in Akron, I can drop his name and everything will be all good. Anyway, we met a week ago. He's a cool guy, but not for me, so we just hang out once a week. It wasn't necessarily the cats, either. Woody has 6 felines that have completely taken over his home. He's the crazy cat lady of the Akron gay community. It wasn't necessarily NOT the cats, though. They may have had something to do with it.

It's funny because I met him the week after the horrible fair date I went on (which I'm still intending on posting about at some point). The same day I met him, I started talking to another guy. This other guy was at the same fair I went to on my date, and again later with my sister, and he was looking for someone to hang out with him. I wasn't about to have myself another terrible fair date experience and I told him about it. Well, he insisted it would go much, much differently if I accepted his invitation. But, I was already meeting Woody and I still wasn't feeling the fair so he asked me to another fair happening on the following weekend. Since Woody turned out to be more buddy material than anything, I eventually agreed. And, since Woody knows absolutely everyone and the guy was from that area, I asked him about the other guy.

"Of course I know who that is. That's my ex-husband."
"No, it isn't."
"It sure is. He ask you to the fair?"
"Shut the fuck up. He did. He actually asked me to two different fairs."
"Of course he did. He loves fairs. I shouldn't be surprised. I know what he likes or what he looks for. He would eat you with a spoon."

This story, naturally, has become an instant legend in my new circle. Clay and Ronnie laughed for about twenty minutes straight over it. I laughed for about ten when I originally found out and I still chuckle over it now. I didn't go, obviously. That's a little weird. Also, he's more of a mess than Ronnie. I'm not about all that drama.

We're all crammed together in his office doing some drinking and chainsmoking. I'm relieved any time the conversation isn't centered directly on me. But, I'm the new guy and everyone wants to know all about me - Clay especially.

"So, when you're not chatting up my boy's ex-husband... What do you do?"
"I work in a factory."
"Blue collar guy. You're just all kinds of rough trade, aren't you?"
"Look who's talking, SAMCRO."
"Bit of a pistol, too. I like that."
"You have no idea."
"Guess I'll have to find out. Are you coming along, too?"

So, we're back to that question. Woody wanted to go out, so he invited some friends to go with him. I decided I wasn't really into it (especially since I've never gone to a gay bar in my entire life - something I told absolutely NO ONE in that group) so I was going home whenever they all showed up. But, then Clay and Ronnie showed up. Ronnie was the reason I hadn't left already. Sure, he had something going on already but that obviously wasn't working out. I wasn't interested in starting anything with him, but I did want to hang out with him and gaze dreamily into those eyes a while longer.

Also, I was tired of Clay's shit. Damn right, I'm going.

(...to be continued)