I wish I was someone better.

Not really. Consider the following e-mails:

Employer Views: 2

Still! How aggravating. If I had only developed a resume and profile at this employment site, I might be in serious trouble. But, I have pursued several different venues and have applied for employment in three different states. So, my chances should be fairly hopeful. Anyway, here's another:

December 16, 2010

NOTICE OF PASSING EXAM SCORE

Congratulations, you have passed the following exam:

[rest of email omitted.]

So, that means what exactly? Your guess is as good as mine, maybe even better. Basically it means that I might get called for an interview once they process the applications of everyone else who passed the exam and applied for that job vacancy. But, it means I'm slightly more likely to stay in West Virginia than I would have been otherwise. In any case, I've at least met the necessary requirements for the state job I'm so hoping to be considered and hired for.

In summation, it doesn't actually mean anything. But, it means more than nothing so that's something? I have to check my Englimatics. Yes, it means more than nothing but less than anything so it equals something by default. Logically speaking theoretically, hypothetically, possibly, hopefully, and desperately.

Anyway, I had my first interview on Tuesday. It went fairly well. I sat down with the assistant manager of a location in Charleston for a pet store. That alone was personally entertaining since I have zero experience in that retail industry and I barely recall applying for the job in the first place. But, it was good experience going through the whole interview process since it's been about four years since I've dealt with any of it. It was also entertaining for an entirely different reason as well. The assistant manager was originally from Pittsburgh, so we spent the majority of the hour trading war stories about acclimating to the West by God Virginian lifestyle, culture, and community. It was beyond lovely. Unfortunately, I can't actually imagine myself staying in West Virginia to pursue that career path - that alone wouldn't be enough to sway me to stay. It wasn't until the end of the interview that I realized I had neglected to remove the size sticker from the side of the new pants I had chosen to wear that day. I had been in a hurry after falling back asleep, rushing to make it to the interview at least a few minutes early to make a proper first impression, and simply hadn't the time or personal awareness to notice it. I hope no one else noticed it either. It's possible no one did. During the interview, we were sitting next to each other on a bench and the leg the sticker was on was facing away from my interviewer. So... it's possible it went unnoticed. Unlikely, but possible. How mortifying. I did acquire a second follow-up interview with the store manager for tomorrow afternoon, so if it was noticed it may have factored into the interview and scored me some pity points. I owe it to myself to follow this process through and at least consider whatever offer they have to make - if any. Again, I don't have any experience in that market so I can completely understand there being someone (read as: anyone at all, practically) with more experience and better qualifications for that staffing situation.

But I had fun, so who cares?

That has been my only call back thus far. Less than inspiring results so far with the job hunt, but at least I've received that much consideration.

I'm really hoping the state job at least contacts me for an interview in the next week. It's hard to plan my next move until I have a better understanding of what my options are. Everything is just pending and unknown right now. This has prompted me to amend the subtitle of this blog as you'll notice above. That's what it feels like for me at the moment. Lingering in purgatory. It's not as horrible as it could be, but it's moderately frustrating and exhausting.

In the meantime, I've done a great deal of packing and have reduced the bulk of my possessions down to the lowest common denominator by either trashing or donating to Goodwill the things I don't necessarily need or want. Either way, I imagine I'm leaving apartment H in the very immediate future. Can't say I'm sad to go, either. I've never particularly cared for this little shithole I've called home this past year. It has served its purpose and I'll never forget my time here, but I think that time has come to its natural conclusion. So... I'm either moving to Charleston (South Charleston, most likely) or I'm moving to...

Well, you'll just have to wait for that. Same as me.

Pretty, little hopes.

I can breathe again. That is such a relief. I was seriously freaking the hell out. But, everything is working out now. I'll explain it all. I had intended on going back to the unemployment office yesterday morning and applying for benefits because I am in dire need. Well, actually, no. But, that's only true because I haven't had to pay any bills yet. But, those due dates are approaching and considering the week wait without benefits and then the delay between when they go into effect and when I actually start receiving them... Well, that could be halfway through January and I'd be homeless by then if I couldn't manage to find employment. Even if I did, I might not start receiving paychecks until about the same time. So, I decided it would be better to not wait any longer even if that would mean collecting about $400 less per month than if I could manage to hold out until January before filing. Anyway, I left the house yesterday morning bright and early with the intention of filing for unemployment in Charleston, but I didn't even make it out of town before I remembered to make sure I had all my paperwork in order. I pulled over at a gas station to make sure. I had all the forms filled out and ready in a binder. I had my GPS, because I get lost in Charleston every single time (even with it). What I didn't have was my social security card. I can't honestly remember the last time I actually needed that card, let alone saw it. Fortunately, I saved myself a wasted trip to Charleston when I discovered I didn't have it. Unfortunately, I spent the next 24 hours looking for it in vain. I did make sure to multitask and use the opportunity to not only search through everything in my apartment but to organize and reduce the bulk of my possessions as well. Seven garbage bags of actual trash, five garbage bags of future Goodwill donations, and three totes of sorted and packed belongings later - still no card. I did manage to find my birth certificate and my ServSafe certification. I also found my scores from the practice ACT from... over a decade ago. That's a slap in the face. I then revised my plan. I would go early the next morning to the social security office in town to start the process of acquiring a new card. Then... well. Then I'd figure out the rest of my plan in play. It would all depend on what happened at the social security office. Everything would be determined there.

This worried me greatly for a few reasons. Mainly, not having that card means not being able to apply for unemployment benefits but it could also mean not being able to complete pre-hire paperwork in the event that I am successful at finding employment before I get my replacement card. That is assuming they wouldn't be able to provide me with a temporary card in the meantime, which would just be my luck. So, I'm back to freaking out again.

I use this time to research unemployment benefits. The website made it abundantly clear that I would need my social security card to file. While I was aimlessly browsing the site, I stumbled upon something else quite by marvelous accident. State job vacancies.

I used to have a job like that. I was an idiot and left it in the hopes that I was pursuing something better and more lucrative. It wasn't a career position. It wasn't even full time. So, it's not like I was giving up a government pension or anything. Still, I was an idiot for leaving it for this new world of shit I find myself in.

Alot of the postings were simply and continuously accepting applications to create an applicant pool in anticipation of an actual need for one but the positions weren't vacant at all. A few were. These had closing dates, prerequisites, location assignments, salaries, benefits, vague descriptions. Very typical that last bit. I found one in particular that suited my needs and experience. The salary range was considerable and the high end of which was comparable to my previous one. Better yet, it's a full time permanent career position. I almost peed myself. Seriously. I was and still am that excited. The posting closes this Thursday. I submitted my application yesterday morning and received instant confirmation by email. I have to take the exam tomorrow (Thursday) in Charleston. I called and confirmed that would be acceptable. The deadline is midnight and I will be considered as long as I complete all the prerequisites by then. The evaluation process could take 2-4 weeks after that, but I would know something one way or the other. That's more than I can say for all these other job applications. The silence is aggravating. Anyway, I'll be taking that exam on Thursday evening. That's after I inquire about getting a new social security card tomorrow and then hit up the DMV for my vehicle registration and state driver's license. By the time they process my application and test results, I'll be a legitimate, card carrying West by God Virginian. Believe it.

Do I sound revved up and cocky? Yeah, I can not wait until the interview. I'm hungry. Starved. Ravenous. I am getting that fucking job.

But, that's not even the best part. What about applying for unemployment benefits? I seem to have omitted that part of my revised plan. Yes, that is true. I did intend to add that in there somewhere until a few moments ago. I have been checking the status of my termination for weeks now. At some point yesterday - probably while I passed out for six hours in the midst of my crazed search for my social security card - my termination was officially finalized. It's official. I'm unemployed. Release those funds! That transaction is currently pending. Very, very exciting. I can survive until January now. Far beyond actually, but I will be applying for benefits at that time and everything will be fine while I wait for the results from my application and test.

Stated simply: Getting fired might be the best thing that's happened to me since transferring to West Virginia. Seriously. That job... that career... that industry... I never actually wanted any of it. It's a funny story actually. I'll tell you all about it in my next post which will probably happen sometime after my excursions to various official offices and a long, peaceful nap. I don't want to digress any further.

This is what I want. I really hope it happens for me. If not, that's fine. It's not ideal and I'll be greatly disappointed, but it'll be fine. At least I don't have to worry so damn much anymore. Actually, I don't have to worry at all. Something is going to happen for me and I can wait comfortably until it does.

Optimism is delicious. Try some.

Posed to death.

Employer Views: 2

I'm getting really, really good at filling out online forms and selecting things from drop down menus. I should list that as a skill.

I did not exercise today. I did not venture out to the DMV. I did not do anything except fill out applications for several hours and wait. I spoke to a recruiter about CDL training in Indianapolis and my potential future career as a truck driver. It sounds completely horrible. The proposed starting salary is equal to my former one, though. Hurray for that. I guess. I'm going to think about that and hope someone else calls me soon.

At this point, I'm applying for any and every thing. I don't care. I will do practically anything for money right now. I don't have any pride anymore. Speaking of which, I've decided to go back to the unemployment office tomorrow and discuss my options. I'm not sure I can wait until January. Hopefully they missed something the first time - namely my reported income from the state of Ohio - and that will mean enough money to survive while I continue my job search and wait for my termination to be finalized and the release of my retirement fund.

Not sure when I'll be able to send out my Christmas packages to the family. Might be well after Christmas at this rate. If I do end up moving back home, I'll save money on postage.

Yeah. Hurray.

I just received notice by mail that I can continue my benefits for just $xxx.xx a month for the next 18 months. How exciting. I have until January to decide. That's lovely.

I don't have a lot to say. Nothing has really changed from 12 hours ago.

You're causing a scene, ba-by.

Employer Views: 1

Well... that's legitimately disappointing. But... 1 is better than 0. Right?

[silence lasting well over five minutes]

Ok. That's fine. It's not even 3am. So... No one important is even thinking about getting ready for work yet, let alone perusing hopeful applicant resumes online. Right?

[silence lasting...]

I'm thinking about starting an exercise program. I mean... anything to not stress/obsess over this. Besides that, I discontinued my last one because I got so busy at work and couldn't possibly be bothered to find the time. Well, I've got the time now, don't I? I think this is a brilliant idea. I'll work out for like 5 hours and then take a shower. That'll make it almost 8am. Then, I'll check my e-mail before I go to the DMV. I might walk there if it's not too cold. It's not like I don't have all damn day and it's only ten miles. I might be tired, though, from all the insane exercise. Although, once I channel my rage, I'll be unstoppable. We'll see, I guess. I have to go to the DMV since I've finally got all my paperwork sorted out (3 months later) and can register my vehicle in the state (just when I'm about to potentially leave it). Then I can actually get the damage from the deer hit-and-run estimated and eventually repaired. When I get home, if I still don't have any interested employers trying to track me down, I'll submit several more applications and forward my resume on to even more powers that be. Maybe I'll pack up some more of the apartment and post some of my larger possessions on Craig's List or something so I won't have to cart them to places unknown when I go where ever the hell I'm going when I'm not able to pay the next month of rent in 25 days.

[silence]

I have to wait until January to claim unemployment because of the raise I received earlier this year. If I claim it now, I'll lose out on $400/month. Crazy, I know. That's almost my rent. That's more than an auto loan payment. It takes up to thirty days for the company responsible for handling my retirement to receive official notice of my termination and then respond by releasing funds. In the meantime...

Optimism is a hard, bitter pill to swallow.

[update]

I filled out several more applications. Yay.

[/unconvincing, forced, sarcastic optimism]

You're wearing out that note.

My sister was just here for the weekend. Which was great since I didn't have anything to distract me from simply freaking the hell out from Friday until Monday. The weekend is just a dead zone for the unemployed. No one worries about human resources over the weekend. So, I'm very excited about today. I'm really hoping someone calls me about a job today. Come on, Monday. Redeem thyself.

I don't mind not working. I don't mind it at all. In fact, I'm loving it. I am, however, not so thrilled about not having money. Or being homeless. Not that I would be without a home, I would just be living in one belonging to someone else as I continued to try to salvage my life. Again. I almost threw up just now. Yeah. I need to figure this out and now. Immediately. Hopefully today. I have my interview outfit ready. Remember that sweater vest incident from... several months ago? Yeah. I got one this time. It was very easy since they're actually in season right now. Anyway... I just need the call then a time and place. I will destroy that interview. No one sells it like I do. I can out enthuse anyone. I'm a one man riot.

I've started packing. Either way - job or no, I'm probably moving soon. Most of the current and adequately paying employment opportunities are about 40-50 miles west of here, which will be fine in the short term. I did that for a few months when I first transferred here while they were still building my permanent location. Those were really long days. 12 hour days with commute. Yikes. So, I could do it again for awhile, but I'd definitely be in the market for an apartment closer to my money maker. I'm gonna shake that sucker like a snow globe.

I've been electronically pimping myself out for a week now. I will resume more of the same tomorrow. It's a process. It's a long, irritating, bullshit process.