Search and Destroy

Each and every time I allow myself to think I'm actually making progress - socially, financially, personally, whatever the case might be - it becomes all too painfully clear how very misguided and entirely foolish I have been. If I wasn't such an avid fan of dark, twisted humor... I simply couldn't tolerate the tragic comedy of my life. Even so, it's still overwhelming to me at times.

I lost my dream job at the cheese factory. I answered an ad for a marketing representative which slowly evolved over the course of a three day unpaid orientation process into a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman. In my defense, the apparatus started out as an air filtration unit. But, suddenly on day 3, the training manager produced a box of accessories. I watched horrified as he slapped a set of wheels and a hose on the thing and then proceeded to vacuum the room with it. I would have ran out if not for the shock of it all. If it takes you three days to tell your prospective employees that the damn thing is really a vacuum cleverly disguised as a humidifer/air purifier... How damn long is your in-home sales pitch to the prospective buyer going to last? Ain't no body got time that. I should have known better.

Out of desperation, I took a job at the local call center: loyal readers may remember my time as a propaganda perpetuator for the right wing agenda. Same call center, different room. No more cold calls for any political entity. No, all calls were inbound for cable service. It was slightly better than being a soldier of the Republic. Not much, though. I spent both lunch breaks searching job boards online, submitting applications, and scheduling interviews. I went to several closed and open interviews. I finally landed a part-time night audit job for a hotel in Youngstown. Then I also snagged a part time manager/delivery driver position at a pizza place. That was my last day at InfoPrison, the call center of the damned.

I stopped my regular weekly pilgrimage to Akron after I lost my job at the cheese factory. I did spend New Year's Eve with Clay. I haven't seen Woody since he asked me to move to Ft. Lauderdale with him. I had known he was planning on moving there since I first met him last summer. But, it had always been this "someday" thing that wasn't ever actually supposed to happen. Now it probably is going to happen. He seems serious about it anyway. Scary as it is to admit, I want to do it. At the same time, I really don't. Ohio won't be the same without Woody, but my life won't be the same without Nurse Egg. In the meantime, I'm simply pretending like I don't remember having that conversation, avoiding the situation entirely, and focusing my complete attention to getting my life back on track - financially speaking anyway.

I think my personal life might be a lost cause at this point.