I'm boring myself right now, so I can only imagine how you must feel.

It snowed here. Once. Very big deal. To someone. Not me, but someone.

I finally got new tires. That is a very big deal. I've been talking about getting new tires for over a year now. Well, I got them on Monday. I also got an oil change and an alignment. Hurray for safe driving which I will be doing alot more of from this point forward. Beep beep.

Tomorrow is the last day of 2009. It was a good year and one of many firsts. My first house. My first lawn boys. They did a great job, or at least a better job than I would have since I had no intention of doing anything ever. My first apartment and leasing agreement. My first transfer. My first step out into the world on my own. Let me amend that: My first successful step out into the world on my own. My first experience with high speed internet. My first experience with cable television. I'm obviously more fond of the former. My first GPS. It's never been off while I've driven anywhere since. My first over-night business trip which is also my first week-long business trip. My first club experience - not a fan. My first casino experience where I was actually gambling rather than working - also, not a fan. Many others, but that's the highlight reel. Good year. Which makes me slightly anxious about the next. Hopefully, things will just keep getting better or stay just as good for awhile. I think I've earned it.

I don't know. I'm very zen right now. Makes it difficult to post much of anything. Anyway, Happy Holidays Past and New Year Pending!

Black Keys stole my soul.

If you don't know, you better call somebody and find out. Fool.

I'm establishing a filing system for all my loose, miscellaneous, semi-important, mess of papers today. It'd be so much easier to simply burn everything. I'm working on it. I've thrown away more than half of the mess. I know, the rain forest. Go hug something, hippies. I'm not recycling a damn thing.

I removed the horrifying wall mirror in my office. Until now, I had compromised and simply hung a blanket over it. I didn't realize I had a horse print comforter. But, I do. That must have been a Christmas present from years back. It was still in the plastic wrap. But enough's enough. I pulled that monstrous wood paneled mirror out of the wall. It's in my bedroom now until I can figure out what to do with it next. I really, really, really hate mirrors. I mean seriously. I hate mirrors. I especially hate half broken and ugly bastardized versions of mirrors like the one I'm dealing with here. Not to mention the overwhelming and infuriating size of the thing. I almost broke it the rest of the way. What the hell was the person who decided that was a necessary addition to this apartment thinking when they came to that conclusion? I sense drug abuse was a factor. I may have to put it in the living room. There aren't many walls that will accommodate something of that ridiculous size. I'm just tired of looking at it. I want to break it, but can't. Wait... I just solved the puzzle. I will hang it in the utility room above the washer and dryer. I won't ever have to look at it there, unless I'm doing laundry. The rest of the time, my chino curtains will hide it along with those appliances and my mop and broom. Perfect. I'm a genius when it comes to home improv. That's not short for improvement, either.

I paid off both of my personal credit cards. Excellent financial progress and more to follow. I'm currently tracking the state of my auto loan. That will take considerable time but I like seeing my slow progress there as well. I'm actually ahead on payments. Yessssss. All my bills are paid and I just purchased enough food to see me through February at least. Life is pretty awesome at the moment. It'll be a cheap Christmas, but I'm in a transitional phase and thrift is my new best friend.

I did the humanitarian thing again this year. Instead of just one, I had several adopted bastard children of the greater Charleston/Huntington areas to find gifts for. I even wrapped the gifts as well. I didn't attend the party though. I had to work and everything was very short notice. Anyway, I'm glad I volunteered my day off for the shopping/wrapping part of the event. I had fun with the rest of management. Plus, it's always fun to spend someone else's money. Although, driving around in the ghetto of Huntington is not my idea of fun. No. But I survived and on zero sleep. That was a deliriously insane day for me. I still haven't made it to Salvation Army or Goodwill with my 3+ totes of clothing donations. I might do that tomorrow when I'm out looking for any deal I can find on new tires.

My sister was stuck on a highway somewhere in the middle of a terrible snow storm. She read a book to pass the time until she was able to drive again. Then Nurse Egg drove into a snowbank and had to be dug out. She is very, very stressed out right now. I know this because she told me she couldn't even count money and she's letting someone else drive her car. Terrible. At least she made it home. I, on the other hand, was delighted to learn that I can not only make it up the steep incline to my apartment but that I can make it back down the same steep decline in my Jeep. I didn't even drive into any of the homes that are positioned absurdly and dangerously only feet from the road. If someone tripped walking out of the front door to one of these houses, they would land in the median. That's disturbing to me. I almost prefer the obscene tower of stairs to this alternative. Anyway, I am very pleased that I don't have to park somewhere and walk home. The lot for my apartment building hasn't been plowed but that's not a problem for my Jeep. I didn't plow or shovel my driveway last year because I didn't have to and I simply refused.

I am starving. I will post again after I've made a little more progress with cleaning and organizing the various rooms of my apartment. And after I figure out what to eat and possibly watch some television as well.

Happy Annual Non-Birth-Related Continued Survival and Humanitarian Celebratory Season of Gift Exchange and Bonding Time to all! Enjoy!

Goodmorning, Sunshine.

My sister is here. She's sleeping in my bedroom. Luckily, I've grown very accustomed to sleeping on the floor of my living room so it's not a big deal. What I'm not accustomed to is having anyone else in my life, sharing things like time and space and breathable air, and compromise.

We were supposed to wake up at 10am today. This sort of happened. I guess. She was up on time and ready to go and made several attempts to get me up and ready to go. God love her, it wasn't happening today. So, I slept through our time line. We should have left the apartment by 11am and arrived at our destination sometime before 1pm. It's 1pm now and I'm barely awake and she has given up the fight. We're also still an hour and a half away from the potentially awesome/awkward day we had planned - these things tend to go either way for us.

I could be disappointed, but she's still here and it's still Tuesday, so... why complain? Ok, maybe it's a shitty day outside and maybe we haven't done any of the amazing things we said we would. We did other things and we spent every second of our joint vacations together. Yeah, that's a half full glass of holiday awesomeness.

Speaking of which... I may have a binge cycle of alcoholism. I haven't really consumed alcohol in years but... I well made up for lost time in the past two days. Which explains my reluctance to move or live or do much else but lay around today. It also explains my insane status messages on several social networking sites and that mass text which everyone in my phone book received the other night. It wasn't obscene. I don't think it was, anyway. I need to read it. I should definitely read it and plan some damage control since I'm fairly certain I sent it to my boss and her boss. I know I sent it to my old boss since she texted back and we exchanged texts at like midnight. Which was funny. She was one of the few people to respond with something other than "Who the fuck is this?" or "You are a freak".

What was I talking about?

Oh, it's Tuesday. It's the last official day of my sister's visit and I need to get off my fucking ass and we need to spend some quality fun time together. Now, I just need to figure out what we're going to do and get us there. Wish me luck.

Oh, I just checked my checking account balance online. Whatever we do... it's going to have to cost $0. Wonderful.

Cheers, bitches. It's Christmas in WV.

I'm gonna start a riot.

"We're going to play a game today. The name of the game is The next person to say the phrase 'You're too young to be so jaded.' gets punched in the face. A mouthful, I know. But, this is a very simple game to play since the name of the game is also how we play. Be advised, we're now officially playing this game, so do not repeat the title unless you are ready for the consequences. This game doesn't end until someone is on the floor. Crying. Now, you might be thinking to yourself: Hey. Isn't this just the 'Family Christmas Game' with a different title? The answer, of course, is yes. Yes, it is. It is exactly the same game but we don't need as many players for this version and we actually know what the magic phrase is in advance. That takes a little of the suspense and tension out of the atmosphere, but I think it will allow more people to actually win. And we all want to win, don't we? It's no fun if we have a twelve-way tie. So... good luck everyone."

Five times in the last week, that's how many times someone has said that exact phrase to me. I know you were curious. Also, yes. I did say this aloud and to a small group of people. They didn't get the whole Family Christmas Game reference (Well, not all of them. Some did, I think, on some personal level.) but I couldn't help myself. The opportunity for comedy presented itself, so I took it. Oh, I'm completely neglecting my duties as narrator/author/protagonist. For those of you who aren't as vocab savvy as you should be, here's a little help:

jad·ed (jā'dĭd)
adj.

1. Worn out; wearied: "My father's words had left me jaded and depressed" (William Styron).

2. Dulled by surfeit; sated: "the sickeningly sweet life of the amoral, jaded, bored upper classes" (John Simon).

3. Cynically or pretentiously callous.

Also, you may want to bookmark dictionary.com for future reference. If that word gives you trouble... I weep for the children.

I would like to take a moment to address my alleged jadedness. I was worn out, burnt out, stressed out. I was fed up and dead to the world by most accounts. Which is one of many reasons I took the transfer. I hated my old life, so I traded it in for a different one. It's worked out beautifully. I feel alive again. Happy, most of the time, and nearly satisfied. It's a process and I'm working on it. But, progress has been steady and good which leads me to be very optimistic about the future. Very optimistic.

As for being sated and dulled by surfeit (excess), it's no huge secret that I live well beyond my means. Although, I have been cutting back alot lately. Ever since moving here, I've been making adjustments to my standard of living and decreasing my gross exceptionally. I still have alot of bills and debts to pay off. I'm working on that. Again, it's a process and progress has been steady (slow) and good. But, I can not deny that I'm a fucking snob. Always have been, always will be. That's just how I am. I understand etiquette and social order and class structures. I am semi-cultured and prudish and usually polite to a fault. I can't help that. But, as far as amoral? I don't think so. I think I have very strong, possibly militant ethics. At least, now I do. It wasn't always the case. I used to be very dodgy. I wouldn't have trusted myself a few years ago - with anything, ever. But, I've come to recognize that I don't particularly like that side of myself. I like the person I've become, the person I've worked and still work to become. I'm still a snob, but at least I'm honest about it now.

Also, I think this would be a good time to discuss the difference between lying (Which I still do when appropriate.) and withholding/omitting information (Which I do constantly, even here.). I do not believe these to be various shades of dishonesty. Lying is dishonest. Withholding/omitting information is simply a choice which effects the extent of another person's perception of events. Consider:

Suppose we are in that preliminary phase of human contact where we are sharing information and trying to find common ground to stand on with which to build our possible relationship on. So, we're basically interviewing/interrogating each other.

You: "What's your favorite food?"
Me: "Pizza, I guess."
You: "Me, too! OMG."
Me: "Yeah, pizza rocks."

Now, that's pretty general. Pizza can mean alot of things to alot of people. Reconsider:

You: "What's your favorite food?"
Me: "Pizza and allow me to elaborate in order of favorite to like to barely tolerate: Philly Cheese Steak, Mexican, Spicy Chicken, Supreme (all meats and vegetables), Sausage, Macaroni, Pepperoni, Cheese, Vegetable, Hawaiian."
You: "You barely tolerate Hawaiian pizza? That's my favorite. And I'm from Hawaii, you asshole."
Me: "Well... maybe you should go back there and shove some disgusting pineapple pizza in your face hole."

This is a very ugly result. Could we have possibly compromised and shared a Supreme pizza? Sure, and we'd probably even be friends at some point. But, I fully disclosed every possible detail about my opinion of this particular topic. Which, you took a little personally. What's wrong with you, anyway?

I think I've made my point.

So, I don't believe myself to be amoral. I'm just a little secretive and discreet about the flow of any information I may have about anything. I am simply aware of how needless or even damaging certain information can be in certain situations. This ties back to etiquette and my polite disposition. Also, it's usually none of your damn business and sometimes it's none of mine. But, simply because I know something (Learned either directly or accidentally, doesn't matter.) is no reason to go around telling everyone else. And if I can, I will try to forget the information I'm not supposed to know. If possible. Usually doesn't work, but I try or at least act stupid when asked about it.

Now, that leaves the part about me being cynical or pretentious. I am not going to deny being cynical. No. I am. Although, I would like to point out that alot of that is just over-emphasized realism. I'm a realist. I've said it before: I'm bound by reason, just like mathematics. I am governed almost exclusively by logic. So, it's only natural that I have a predisposition toward being cynical. However, it's not like I'm perpetually negative. I make great effort to attempt to put a positive spin on even hopeless endeavors. I have a feeling an example is warranted. I won't use one of my own here. Those are usually highly improvised, situation specific, obscenely hilarious, and just as immediately forgettable afterwords. (+50 points for anyone who knows the reference I'm about to use and double that for anyone who can name the episode.) Consider:

We are on a road trip, destination unknown but plotted through GPS which I insisted we bring along. You are driving and trying your best to follow along with the robotic female voice of the GPS. You take a sudden turn, at the behest of the guidance device, onto what should be and possibly once was a bridge. As we begin to sink into the lake, I make an offhand comment:

"Well, at least we don't have to explain this to the folks at OnStar. Because, that, would be embarrassing."

Sure, that's still cynical. But, I'm attempting to alleviate the stress of the situation through humor and limit the horror of it by stating how it could possibly be worse than it is. I'm not ignoring the facts (Even how very obviously this situation is mostly my fault.), I'm just not readily accepting them either.

I won't even comment on being pretentious. I've earned everything I have and am, or am still making payments/penance to that effect. Good or bad, my choices have been my own and I do not regret any of them. Collectively, they have shaped my life and as I said earlier, I am liking my life right now.

I really, really am. Every possibly jaded second of it.