Murphy's Law

Anything that can possibly go wrong, does.

See also: fuck my life. Seriously, just fuck my life.

Before I get into my latest cause of concern and stress, let me review all the wonderful contributors from this past week. I'll start with my family. Nurse Egg and I went to see them on Friday evening. The family tradition is to meet on Christmas Eve, eat dinner and cookies and whatever all night until we do the whole Santa spiel with presents passed out by the man himself, and disperse or possibly spend the night over if you've got the intestinal fortitude for it and things have already gone completely bat shit crazy. This year we decided to forego all that mess and come a day early, while things are still simmering in a passive-aggressive stew and preparations are still underway. It's absolutely brilliant, actually. We did make a small error in judgement by going completely sober with no alcoholic bracer. I regretted that about five minutes into the visit. The first thing my grandmother said to me was:

"I hope you've saved up some money to pay those land taxes, because I don't have any." Then she made that strange noise she makes that's a peculiar blend of a chuckle, a choke, and a cough. A choughckle? I don't know. It's aggravating and bizarre. It means she's trying to say something jokingly, but not because she isn't serious or actually trying to funny to anyone else but herself. It's the only tell the woman has.

She was referring to the yellow house, which I refer to as Tatterdemalion - still and always. The newest tenants of the property have been paying their rent - in full and on time, sometimes even early. At least, they had been doing that until this month. I'm really hoping the holiday madness got the better of them and that they will resume paying rent shortly. Hoping, but not very enthusiastically. Since my employment this year has been decidedly sporadic and short-lived, the rent from this property has made it possible to pay my own. This was meant to be a temporary fix, but that has really panned out yet. Moot point if they aren't going to continue paying their rent and I have to evict yet another lousy tenant. So, this surprise of my grandmother's wasn't exactly something I wanted to hear. It's actually the last thing I would ever want to hear. That was also the limit to what my grandmother said to me that evening. Oh, except for asking about work immediately after that comment which didn't put me in a very good position to bring up my sudden unemployment. Again. Again. Again. So, naturally my defenses went into overdrive and I told everyone how wonderful my job was and how much I absolutely loved it. I told my aunt the truth. Later. She was segregated from the rest of the household and completely out of ear shot of my grandmother. I really don't care if she tells her or not. I just don't. Whatever.

Tonight I spent the evening with my sister's extended family. That was made absolutely magical by the ample supply of merlot. Absolutely magical. I had a great time, even while listening to a story about weather conditions in Montana around this time but over sixty years ago. It was a magical evening. That probably makes me sound like an alcoholic. That's all. No rebuttal. Just making an observation.

My asshole friend is moving. I've been kind of helping him pack. By "helping" I do mean "watching". I would help, but it's like being on an episode of hoarders. He wants to sort through and categorize everything. It's nauseating and completely boring. Anyway, the big day is tomorrow so I figured I'd spend the night again and get an early morning start on all the lifting and backwards walking while doing an assisted carry of furniture and blah. That brings me to my newest source of stress and trouble. The check engine light in my Jeep is flashing, the engine is shaking, and the accelerator isn't doing much in the way of accelerating the vehicle. All of the mechanic forums I've consulted indicate this is indeed a serious mechanical problem which might result in an engine fire or possible explosion if not addressed immediately. So much for having a reliable vehicle to take me to my new job which I still hope to obtain sooner rather than later - especially since I'll now have to cover what might be an extensive repair bill. In the meantime, I might be able to persuade my local aunt into allowing me use of one of her two family vehicles while I come up with the funds for that repair bill. Hopefully, but I won't ask until I actually have an interview at least.

Of course this would happen. Of course all of this would happen. 2011 just isn't quite done with me yet.