Charleston calling.

I have an interview Wednesday. It's for a great job. I'm excited. I'm also apprehensive. The starting salary... Well. I'm really hoping that previous experience in a related career field will push that number up a little bit. Honestly, the starting salary is slightly less than what unemployment would pay out. That's incredibly discouraging. I don't even know what to say about that. Although, considering that I'll gain amazing benefits with this job, I guess that's not entirely true. But, I'm not really concerned with the benefits as much as I'm concerned about my ability to pay all of my bills and have enough money to continue to survive.

I'm getting ahead of myself. The interview is Wednesday. I need to start with that. And before that even, I need to get my driver's license for this state. I tried to do that a month ago, but I lost my social security card which actually threw a wench into my unemployment efforts as well. That's been resolved, but I simply didn't see the point in pursuing a license for a state I might be moving out of within a few months, weeks, days, hours, minutes...

Speaking of unemployment, still no money from that. I'm trying not to panic. It's awkward. All this waiting and apprehension and uncertainty - it's no way to live, I'll say that. I'm just living each day and hoping the next one is better. It's entirely frustrating and I feel ridiculous constantly.

I've got all my stuff packed up for the most part. I still have most of my clothes out and the essentials in the kitchen and bathroom. I have my computer and television still set up to keep myself from going completely insane. I'm ready for whatever is going to happen, I just wish something would.

I hope I get the job. At the same time, I hope I don't. It's strange. I think I'd feel exactly the same way no matter what the outcome. I'm ready to leave this place. I've always hated this shitty little apartment of mine. At the same time, I'm not ready to admit defeat and surrender. I'm still proud and stubborn like that.

That makes me a ridiculous and completely conflicted person. I guess we'll see how that changes on Wednesday.