Life INSIDE Apartment H.

First, the dream. Then... the reality.




It's worse than nightmare. Ok, so it's not as bad as I've made it seem in this photo. But, I'm toying with photo effects and taking you on a tour of the horrors inside Apartment H. Visual effects are to be expected. But, since I shocked you so blatantly with my Old Time Picture, I will help you re-balance yourself with something calming and peaceful.



Oh no! We're in the Matrix! So much for calming. This bonsai tree could be a vile Agent sent by the machines to destroy us all... unless we unleash our kung fu. Ok. I was at Target and I needed something to counteract all the blah surrounding me in the apartment. Now... something amazing!



This is not a trick photo. This door is actually closed. I discovered - while growing increasingly frustrated as I tried to organize my immediate environment - that with enough rage or determination, I can close some of the doors in my apartment. This is the door to the closet in my bedroom and is not a fluke. Observe:



Yes! This is an entirely different door. (Same room.) I have not been able to master any of the other three doors in the apartment. But my success here only warrants further testing. Now, back to the horror. What's behind this door?



Due to the graphic nature of the image, I have pixelated it beyond comprehension. I should point out that what you're seeing is not merely a massive pile of clothing that towers to waist level and expands in every direction. There is buried somewhere within that mass of fabric a bed as well. That makes me feel a little better about it. Also, not opening the door works just as nicely. I have begun to cut back on the size of my wardrobe, but we will get into that later. Now, let's approach this from another angle.




If you were curious, this is how things look when I'm in the closet.



Mostly unpacked boxes and books in milk crates line the wall of my would-be office. I've dug out the components and reference materials as I require them. Other than that, I must wait until I can devise some ingenious system of both organization and storage in order to meet my limited space availability and insanely high aesthetic requirements. I wouldn't bother going in this room if not for-



-this. Yes, another Matrix throw back. Since I've already opened the door to recycling photo effects, there's nothing stopping me now. This is where the magic happens and I should note that my keyboard is back-lit in blue so this isn't too unrealistic.



My home office workstation. Actually, it would be more accurate to call it my home storage room work station, I suppose. Anyway. I spend most waking hours in this very corner of my apartment. Well, ok... I spend most waking hours at work, followed by time at this desk, followed by sleep, and then commuting filling out the rest of the pie chart. I imagine time in pie charts. Just a fun fact for you to consider. Moving on then.



Now, back to the clothing issue. I have come to realize that unless I master the ability to fold both space and time - folding time isn't actually necessary but it compliments the other so well and I firmly insist upon obtaining both for my purposes, I will never be able to house all of my various articles of clothing unless I greatly reduce their numbers. So, that is what I have done. These three very colorful totes are filled with relics of fashion that are destined to be recycled by society and quite probably worn in the near future by some emo kids. It's not nearly the half of my whole that I had committed, but it's a serious dent in the dollhouse. And once I determine there is nothing even remotely resembling a winter season here - at least not compared to that of Ohio, I will have three times as much to donate in February. If I get especially ambitious, I will rummage through these totes before carting them off to Goodwill and post an unfashionable attire show for you. Here's a brief glimpse at what that would look like:



Hawaiian shirts! Vertical and horizontal stripes! Old work uniforms! Oh my!



Thank you for stepping into Apartment H with me. Perhaps I'll have the place completely sorted out in the not-too-distant future and you can have a better look. And I promise to lay off all the photo effects.