Continued Survival Anniversary (For Nurse Egg)

This is a picture of my sister from possibly three years ago on New Years Day. There are much better photos of her and much more recent ones, too... but I didn't use those for obvious reasons. I didn't wanna. Besides, this photo in particular captures the essence of my sister.

In order to avoid redundancy and confusion, I'll refer to her from this point on as Nurse Egg.

Nurse Egg does not appreciate people waking her up on the morning after News Year Eve, especially when that person is me, annoying, and aiming a camera at her face.

But... these things can't be helped.

Happy Continued Survival Anniversary, you crazy bia. And remember...



[EDIT]

Nurse Egg wants to be a Google Bot when she grows up, but nursing is a more practical and existing career choice.

[/EDIT]

Financial Woe, Punctuation, and Nostalgia

I haven't posted because I've simply been working and sleeping for ten days.

And dealing with jackasses. But I'm not going to talk about my moonlighting as a would-be real estate middle-man double-agent. Hyphen, hyphen, hyphenation. No, we're not talking about my obsession with punctuation either.

Exhausting.

I'm still having some payroll issues which is contributing to my already staggering financial woe. Shoot-me-in-the-face financial woe. 4(hyphen). Do that math! I am going to be seriously loaded this Friday. Of course, you would then need to subtract all the past due amounts owed by me to various utility companies, financial institutions, laborers, and family members and I should break about even. Although I never claimed to be much of a theoretical mathematician and all of this hinges on the theory of me actually receiving this money any time soon. I did update my personal information with human resources including mailing address and direct deposit accounts, but I can only hope they are able to collect accurate payroll information from all the various sites I've been bounced around these last two weeks.

I'm exploring my options for furthering my education.





I'm exploring my options for furthering my education. I allowed the pause in anticipation of family reaction and repeat for effect. I have been reviewing information and comparing institutions for online learning in an effort to eventually obtain my dual masters. Yes, when I finally decide to do something, I overkill. The semester begins in October so I don't have alot of time if I want to enroll this year. Fortunately, there are not endless options when considering online learning. However, I still don't know what or who or where I want to be when I grow up. The where is kinda moot, but the what and who are critical and I'm not sure I'll ever know the answers to those sorts of questions. But, I'll have degrees. And, I'll still have my bartending certification. And, I'll have completed a course in personal health which may be used toward the pursuit of my associates - if I ever find the book and start completing my modules. Which I really need to do. One of several things I really need to do which all fall under the categories:

Unpack boxes stacked in corners of apartment
Organize mass mess
Complete things I start before pursuing 100 others
Make time for me
Stop wasting time using Google to explore every obscure and unnecessary corner of the internet and then posting my findings to Wikipedia

I just made the Google Bots insane with that link. I can hear them crawling all over each other trying to follow the link back here to me. Yummy. Bring on the web traffic. Google Bots are GO!



Obviously I've been spending too much time online if I'm actually creating a href links to better explain my point and provide my posts with some amusing multimedia. I used to do that. Back in the day. But JS is dead to me now.

Notice no link back to THAT site. Exactly. Although you get bonus points if you've been stalking me long enough to get the references. Extra bonus points if you've been stalking me long enough to remember at least five of my previous aliases. Send your answers here along with your mailing address for that prize.

Reincarnation is a beautiful thing.

Turn Right Then Keep Right

GPS is amazing. Absolutely brilliant.

I say this as a foreigner in a strange land who still has no idea where exactly his new local grocer is located. But, I can find an amazing Amish market that sells bricks of every kind of delicious cheese imaginable for only $2. I can not find a video rental store that hasn't gone out of business possibly several years ago, but I was able to easily find my local municipal building and obtain all the necessary utilities. I have programmed in the locations of our new sites - buildings and addresses so new they won't exist on any map but mine for a few months - and can find their approximate locations with just a touch of the screen.

This technology was especially useful when I was still hunting for an apartment and didn't even know how to get back on course or rediscover the highway. But my little magic box knew. It also knows with staggering accuracy just how long it will take to get from Point A to B, or even Exit X,Y, and Z in between. I utilize this information and adapt my driving accordingly. If my exit is more than three miles ahead, I will pass everyone in sight before I get there. If my estimated time of arrival is even a minute past the start of my shift, I will adjust speed and accommodate. I can also search for nearby businesses and attractions which makes exploring the area that much more appealing.

Unless, of course, GPS is lying. Which he does sometimes, especially if I happen to be in Kentucky. Just ask my sister.

We spent two hours driving to nowhere at all - multiple nowheres - on some of the narrowest twisting stretch of rapid incline/decline/incline/recline/uncline/decline "roads" ever paved. We really enjoyed riding on those roads through the night, even without an actual destination. What we did not enjoy was our desperate and unsuccessful hunt for a video rental location. Yes, we found those locations so technically GPS wasn't lying about how to get there, and I'm sure those addresses were at one time filled by the businesses that GPS directed us toward. But that was long, long ago. Only empty commercial spaces for lease and occassionally a lighted sign remained by the time we arrived. There were no movies to be had in a 50 mile radius. At least, not on DVD. VHS is another story. One I will deny and never tell.

Other than those few mishaps, GPS is extremely useful and I dare say essential to my continued existence and successful navigation through this strange world I live in now. I'd be completely lost without it and I'm not entirely sure how I managed before. Poorly is the answer. I managed poorly, if at all.

Personality

I reread the ad in my mind. I analyze each word and try to re-establish the context I had inferred from them. Without much to work with, I had assumed the least. What I had perceived as being the least possible. I was wrong. I reread the ad in my mind.

Studio with personality. $375 +util. Garbage included.

When I allow myself to open my eyes and behold the reality spread out before me, I try to remember what exactly I thought those words had meant. I envisioned raw brick and pipe and industrial insanity but in a tasteful way that did not make me question the likelihood of me being murdered, raped, dismembered, robbed, or any of those combinations if not all. I envisioned a livable if not spartan and minuscule empty space. I had not anticipated three flights of stairs. That is my fault for not asking more specific questions during my cold call to the owner. I also had not been prepared for all the terrible ways in which the word 'personality' could be interpreted. I hadn't imagined how very many things that word could be stretched over and used to hide. I thought I had a very firm grasp of the English language and would have previously considered myself quite adept at the various eloquent and elaborate uses.

I won't describe what I did see, but I will say it wasn't what I had conjured up with my excellent imagination while sitting and chain smoking from the safety of my fifth floor hotel suite. As I stand in the safety of nothing but my primal urge to scream and flee, a question comes to mind and since I can't help myself, don't know any better, and I'm curious...

"Who's personality am I looking at right now? Is this you, Jim? Is this what the inside of your head looks like?"

"Well... no. I'm not sure who's personality this is. That's why I took out the ad, to find out. To see if... maybe there is someone out there who has a personality that would... The rent is cheap, so I has hoping..."

"Ah. I see."

"So... it's not-"

"Not me. Nope."

"Well, ok."

No. Definitely not ok. Not even close.

Apartment H

My life does not fit in this apartment.

That's a metaphor and accurate, too. I realize this, dismiss it, and try to shut the door again. Any door. Every door. There is only one door in this entire apartment that actually closes completely and that's the door that divides this tiny world from the slightly larger one outside. I kick an empty box into a stacked pile of full boxes. I have another realization.

I hate cardboard boxes more than anything in this world. Well... not quite. Almost.

Work is going well except for it being completely awkward now and foreign. No. That's not right. It's only strange to me because I'm the foreign one. The import. The transfer. The latest, greatest thing. Possibly that last statement is only in my own mind and if I believed it that would make me quite a smug, arrogant little bastard. I suppose I do, half the time. I enjoyed my first day of work - the first of two days at the first of our two recently completed sites. Could that be any more vague or confusing? I doubt it, unless I elaborated about the rest of my schedule for this week. Bottom line: I'm temporary and random. I fill space and time, where ever that is needed. I won't have a permanent placement until September. Until then, I float. I commute. I meet, interact, find my way, adapt, progress, prepare. Like I said, I'm enjoying it despite the awkwardness or maybe simply because of it. I enjoy the challenge. The oddity is amusing and pleasing in ways I hadn't expected. I am simply enjoying the constant change. I'm not bored and that's wonderful.

I have most of my things unpacked now. The rest of my precious personal effects will have to stay in boxes until I can devise some brilliant storage system to overcome the extreme space limitations of my new apartment. It had occurred to me that moving from a three bedroom house into a two bedroom apartment might create a few problems as far as just finding somewhere to put everything - all the things I just couldn't do without and will probably never use and never have. Things I own but for no good reason.

I've donating everything I own to Goodwill tomorrow. I only wish it were that easy. I can commit 1/4 of everything I own to Goodwill. That seems appropriate. Once I get the time and will to make that happen, it will be a little easier to breathe in here.

I'm waiting for my previous life to catch up with me, regarding the postal forwarding system anyway. There's a check floating out there in limbo somewhere with my name on it. Two of them, actually. Other things as well, I'm sure. But, who cares? I want money. I got to get paid.

Today, around noon, I realized that I don't know a single person in this entire state except for the few people I've met through work. I could not keep that ridiculous smile from creeping across my face. It's fantastic. Absolutely brilliant. Now, anyway.

My first night in the apartment was rough. That's after spending the previous night packing everything I own into a Uhaul, connecting an auto trailer, loading the Jeep onto that, and then sleeping on the floor of my empty house. That's also after saying all my goodbyes the next day, driving 300 miles, unloading the Jeep off the auto trailer, disconnecting the auto trailer, driving to my apartment, unpacking the Uhaul, driving back to the rental agency to exchange Uhaul for Jeep, driving back to my apartment, and then sleeping on the floor of my box-filled apartment. That night was rough. I did some unpacking but the reality of my situation was overwhelming.

I've never been this alone.

I realized it was true and almost cried. I didn't, of course, but I felt like I might for a moment or two. I've been living on my own at Tatterdemalion for six months previous to this, but that was back in Ohio and within minutes of driving to any number of people's homes. Friends, family... people I knew. There have always been people for me no matter where I've gone. There's always been someone there. Even if I didn't particularly care for those people, they were there.

My sister came down the next day and stayed through the week. I really, really needed that. Way more than I'll ever admit, I did. In return, I refused to let her help me unpack anything for the first day. We did unpack the kitchen, living room, bathroom, and some of the office before she left. I unpacked my bedroom and office after she had gone. It was more manageable then. I was stable. I had regained my composure and motivation by then.

I'm a silly bastard. I know. Whatever. I don't even care.

For the first time since I began this whole process, I actually believe I can pull it off rather than just manage to survive. I can make a go at this. I can live here. Or I can, once I can find a way to fit my life into this apartment. Still, none of these doors will close. I suppose that's another metaphor.

As long as I don't start burning bridges, I should be fine. I cross three of them every day.