Today, for your viewing pleasure, I am happy to present photos from my phone. Yay! I'll warn you in advance: besides adjusting the size of these images slightly to make them fit within my blog, I have not made any edits to them. These photos are raw, taken from life as it happened around me. That sounds exciting and a little dirty. Anyway. We will begin with some photos of Nurse Egg.
Photos of Nurse Egg jumping on a trampoline! Shocking!
I'll add that I, too, was jumping on the trampoline so that explains why nothing in these photos is in focus. Everything was in motion. From my perspective, anyway.
Here's me with extremely long hair. I'm not sure whether to call myself a hippie or an emo. I'm thinking emo is more likely. I'm not down with free love or pot.
This is my transition from emo to mohawk. I had died portions of my hair previous to shaving it all off, which produced this insane multi-colored mockery. This eventually leads to another transition to completely bald.
Here's my mother and brother on Christmas Day. We had a very strange but pleasant winter that year. No snow. In Ohio, in December, no snow. Needless, but interesting, information. They're trying to get rent money in this photo. They were completely unsuccessful but I'm pretty sure we ruined Christmas for everyone that year.
After our failed attempts to obtain past due funds from the tenants, we loitered around the property. We didn't have anything better to do. We're efficient people and we celebrate on Christmas Eve so we can do whatever the hell we please on Christmas Day. We have an understanding with Santa. We're very upfront with the whole process. No senseless sneaking around or chimney madness for us. Anyway, here's my brother displaying his best Randy Orton pose next to a fairly elaborate bird feeder. Wrestling... I'm gonna stop myself right there. Yeah. Well, it's better than ICP. Part of me dies every time I hear him proclaim to be a juggalo. So, in contrast, men in tights groping each other is a definite step up.
Here's my dog. My dog that I never named. He responded to Jackass and Dipshit with more enthusiasm than he did to Leo, which is the name the animal rescuers gave him. He got off his chain, twice, and then disappeared this summer. We didn't really bond at all, until the very end and then he was gone. I can't compete with dogs in heat. Even though I fed his mutt ass. And bathed him. And bought him an obscene amount and variety of doggy treats. Still, I can't compete.
This is a team bucket of chicken wings. Half are Arizona Ranch and half are Golden Garlic. This is the day I withdrew my boycott of all things chicken and ate more than my share of wings.
I owe it all to this guy for making that moment in my personal history possible. It was his idea to go to Quaker State - despite all my protests that chicken is the meat of the devil - and it turned out not to be the total tragedy I declared it would be - which still surprises me to this day.
Although, he honestly believes that grown men not only should wear pink shirts, but that they look manly and sexy in them. He is wrong. He is so very, very wrong. It is unnatural and wrong. If I ever tried this, I'd end up looking like a hot dog and not in a good way.
I'll close on a happier note. This is MTO Bot 5000. MTO Bot 5000 is my protege and he used his freelance gangsta technician skills to repair the busted grill on my Jeep from that unfortunate deer incident from last winter. I spent alot of time and effort grooming him to step up into management and I made that transition possible by taking the transfer to WV and freeing up some management positions at my former location. MTO Bot 5000 was not pleased with this sacrifice, but it was necessary and beneficial for everyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment